My Journey to Med License exam-NEB PMDC!!

I do not know where to start from. Sometimes we are just off and wanting to give time to our ownselves sorting life out. I had not posted for a long time. Being a medical student sucks at times. Its been a long time i am struggling with my license exam and life things altogether. At times the energy in me is as bright and fresh as the day. The other time, its just dim and gloomy to a level that it made me think why did i chose this profession. Sigh.. 

(Scroll down for step 2 and 3)

I appeared on 1st december 2019. I missed my june attempt and that was quiet depressing. I was up to this exam when i returned back to pakistan in jan 2018 for internship. I joined a private hospital for 10 months, The patel hospital but left it in 7 months duration cuz of pmdc preparation stress. My friends have already gone to lahore, DIMS academy for preps and i hadn't. After quitting hospital i started self study by ordering DIMS notes in hard copy for step 1 and used multiple resources like, osmosis.org and Dr. Najeeb videos. i used multiple youtube channels for different subjects like, Prof. Rabiulhaque  for pathophysiology and sketchy medical for micro. 

Also, juhi mittal microbio (which i guess she have removed now). I was never comfortable in listening Dims audio lectures (indeed they were great but i am a fast listener and a visual learner). Therefore, i tried youtube. It took me 3 months to complete pathophysio, and partial pharma, then i had to leave for graduation. Meanwhile,back in china i never get that motivation and i wasted hell of a time. It was my 2 month stay. I returned back to pakistan in feb 2019. Since then it was even harder for me to get in form and ace this process. I was so unsure of my preparation that inspite of having time i missed my attempt. 

This whole thing happened just cuz of my internal fears. The fear of failing. I never failed an exam in my entire life. Gradually, i went in serious depression. I started on escitalopram.  3 doses and encountered anxiety attack twice. Which was even worser than depression. The whole day i saw my fingers shaking. Resting tremors. Solely an anti-depressant side effect. I cut off all contacts. Friends, Family, No outings. Spent my whole day in a closed room over thinking. Had no idea how to overcome this all. No body knew what i was going through except one friend. He was so concerned,therefore i had to. No one else ever bothered. No complains. 

Well, life just happen to everyone this way. It is a never ending disaster. And so it was to me. There were so many things in between that i don't even want to mention. All I noticed was that my mind was in need of a break. 

           Therefore, I stood up one day and packed up my med books. I planned PLAB years back.. So, i started on its journey from IELTS after discussing it with my closed ones. My parents have always been my major support. I was happy studying for that. It brought new zeal, new stamina. It was a change and as per my nature, i tend to dig out something new all the time. So, being it to be my 1st experience,i should say it went lovely. I scored a 7 overall. It was unexpectedly wonderful but a bit depressing as i needed an overall 7.5, with a thought i have to give it again. I hardly took 26 days to prepare. Soon after that, the result of pmdc june attempt appeared and all my friends were passed. I was so happy for them. Prayed.. thanked Allah. But a part in me was sad,too. Sad.. cuz i missed. I didn't let myself give it a chance. In that state of mind i called up onto a friend and he talked to me on it. He was the same friend. He helped me come out of that trauma. I believe he was an angel sent to me in all my hard times and  I know your reading this. I thank you for everything. <3

           In the course of congratulating my friends on their success and me with my communicating journey; one afternoon i got a phone call from a colleague who is also my friend. He advised me to study for step 2 as i was already been preparing for step 1 and knowing me, he believed that i have the potential to hit both at the same time.

I knew the drill and i was convinced. While searching step 2 dims notes i came across this institute named three steps, in Karachi. It made a sense that it attracted me cuz i reside in the same city. 

I made up my mind and went there for seeking help for step 2 classes. There i met some of my university mates. All of them advised me to take a demo class of step 1 and i agreed.

There comes Dr. tanveer, a PGR5 Neuro surgery, JPMC.

Dr.tanveer was reviewing upper limb anatomy with his old students. Let me tell you, I studied that myself thrice in med school and even after that but anatomy is always forgetting if not revised. It's that day and today. I can say its stuck in my memory as forever. While writing this i am back into those moments and i can still feel that guilt of walking out from that demo class leaving the lecture in the middle as my sister was waiting for me. Its somehow a disgrace to the teacher who's teaching and u have to leave. The whole night i was in a dilemma state and then i decided to join for step 1. 

It's had been 40 days now. I love going there. I love studying in there. Another thing i loved is we are like a family. 

When one family member is stucked in, the other one helps, right? There were students who needed a teacher, a guide to hold on and carry them to step on the ladder by themselves. Dr.tanveer did dat. I still remember when he asked questions to them( without mentioning their names ) i used to say within myself k bolloo yarr.. and when they answer it right it made me smile and say yess deep inside. That something nobody knows. In short, i met two teachers who were really teachers.The other one is Dr.Sajid who owns that institute and is dedicated. It was there sincerity towards the work they were doing. It was not only for us, but in a long run they were building good doctors to serve humanity.  

My study routine was 10 am to 8 pm in academy. Sometimes when i had to go by 2pm then I used to wake up at 8am. Self study by 10 am keeping the margin of 1.5 hour travel. (My home and academy are two poles of the city). On sunday or any other holiday, i used to wake up early and study like 7 to 8 hours straight. Solved mcqs and read from joiya series 4th edition as much as i can. 

Visit "What materials i used for step 1 prep - pmdc" for a detailed guide. 

I left the academy one month prior exam. I had never been a good group study person so i have to leave it anyhow. Meanwhile i set my time table. However, in my last days all i did was i read Dr. Asif Khan  last minute keypoints. I even left practicing mcqs. I just read keypoints from all books and revised USMLE first aid step 1 twice. (over all i have read like 5 times biochem and pharma from it).

And in the train (22 hrs to islamabad) i did past papers twice. Thats all. So, this was a step towards success that only happened cuz i started to believe in myself.

Visit "What materials i used for step 1 prep - pmdc" for a detailed guide. 

 

Today (may,16th 2020) I m very contented. I m thankful to Allah for all that depression, i missed an attempt, all my mental and physical struggles, bad times; all in all. I landed up to a better place meeting these people. People who actually think like u. Who want to do something..something different. For people. For humans. 

  Another thing that i wanna mention here is, 

Do u believe in destiny?   No matter how hard u try and plan, i believe there is nature behind every little move u ought to take. Now see, how destiny worked for me. God knows that words of people who are close to your heart turned out to be more powerful. And when you loose them, the only thing you can do for them is to keep a hold onto good times and good memories and try'na fulfill their desires. Therefore, i always used to connect all the dots from it to my dreams. What i wanna do as a Dr for people. What i wanna do as a human and as a lady holding a loving heart for kids. Landing in somewhere for preparation purpose but coming out of it with a decision to stand is all that made my journey aspiring. This was only my step 1 journey, as beginnings are always long and tough!!

I have cleared all my steps this feb 2020 and Alhamdolilah all in very first attempt. Today when i look back it feels i achieved something but the moment i look forward, i realize it was nothing. There are many giant hurdles up on the way to my personal success. And this journey which was just a chunk, is worth a reminder for an everlasting motivation. I hope you love reading it and may it help you gear up with your preps. Good Luck for your future med folks! Do not loose hope!

Dr.Shadab. 

Do check the link for the preparation material. All set for you in one place newbies. Remember this is your journey and u have to study for your ownself.

Visit "What materials i used for step 1 prep - pmdc" for a detailed guide. 

I have also done a detailed research; soon i will write an article on 

"What paths you can adopt after your MBBS/MD graduation??" which will be based on multiple dimensions and opportunities. 

 Thanks.